You often don’t recognize the fullness of where you’ve been until you’re somewhere else. It’s the difference between being in the painting, and being outside of the painting looking at it. There are perspectives unique to both, and the contrast of where you are to where you were can give great insight.

I recently realized how good it’s felt to be “on top of things” in my life. I suppose I’ve been taking more ownership of my day and responsibilities. In contrast, there were a number of years where everything just went out the window.

It’s like — if my life and internal world was a boat, and I’m meant to be at the helm, steering, guiding the rudder, looking out for oncoming weather, leading my crew, calling out orders and making decisions about our course or how to navigate bad weather — for a while, I was huddled in the corner trying to survive the storm. No one was at the helm, and I was blown every which way.

Now, I’m back at the helm.

I can’t control the weather, but I can navigate this boat of my life as best I can. I can learn to be a better, more seasoned, skilled, and knowledgeable captain. I am the captain of this ship.

Of course, this makes me think of the Invictus poem that ends with the lines, “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”

And also, I’m not. To a large degree, whatever happens in life, happens. What I can do is choose how to steer myself through. I’m in control of:

1. The choices I make
2. How I live
3. How I respond

In that sense, we have control over quite a lot. For me, it feels more apt to say, I am the master of myself.

So then, what kind of master will I be?